Fights

I feel so exhausted. And for once it's not the kids. I hate to say this but I don't feel like John loves me anymore. He's acting the way he did when we broke up. How about that we just had a baby and already feels like we ages apart. He never remembers whats important to me. Like the monitor that I've been watching for weeks or how I like my sandwich. He got upset about me breaking a bottle but I did it to get rid of frustrations. Better then taking it out on the kids or myself. I feel like I'd just rather be dead again. Like he'd care anyways. I wanted to go on a cruise so we could go closer as a couple since we've never been anywhere together. He however is just excited about the nude tanning deck. I want someone who feels like I'm their soulmate, their other half not the the girl who he got stuck in a family with. He says he loves me but never shows it. You know I've never even danced with a guy. Not once not even my husband. I just can't do this anymore.

Crazy life

Ok well while the date went awful. We had dinner at chili's with his best friend. Awkward lol. Then was bowling. where he was kinda funny so it bought him a second date. Took a few dates before we actually started to like each other. lol And it took three dates before I actually knew his name. But four years later I married Johnathan Scheeler. Now I'm sitting here while he's at weekend duty then he's off to work out. My youngest Lillian Victoria Scheeler is only 2 months old. She's going through a growth spurt and tends to be cranky right now esp in morning. I'm so tired but I can't seem to take naps when she does. Oh well I guess it will pass. Soon we're moving here from bassinet to crib can't wait. Just have to get my monitor. Most designs I post are stuff I made for her arrival. I've really found my inner crafter .

The start to the ineffable

Ok First let me say this blog is for me and anyone else who seems to think my life is even some what interesting. Which I doubt will be many. I just thought maybe I'd let out some of my thoughts. I'm a 21 year old female. I'm already married with two kids ages 2 years and 1 month old. I call my blog inevitable because up till now most of my life has been unavoidable. But I also put in the url the word ineffable which means to great to express in words. I think that sums up my life pretty well as a unavoidable and to wonderful to express  in words. See 5 years ago the wheels got set in motion that would determine how my life is now. On June 21, 2006 I went to the rush gym with my mother and aunt. I was told we were going to the mall so I wore a skort so it wasn't like I could work out or anything. So I figured I'd play some basketball. But my family was to busy working out. My mom suggested I ask this guy working out over there to play. She said he'd been staring over here a lot so he would definitely play. I said there was no way I was going to ask some stranger in a gym if he wanted to play b-ball. So she then yelled across the gym and asked him for me. He said sure so I decided it couldn't hurt. There was some small talk exchanging names and where we from though you could hardly hear over the dribbling. Then it was time to leave and as we where about to leave my mom asked if I gave him my number. I said of course not I don't know him. They said that was the point of meeting new people and he was nice blah blah blah. So I sent my little cousin over to give him my number and we left. I never expected him to call. The next week I went with the marching band to Disney world. And the first night sitting outside the hotel room I got a call. It was the guy from the gym asking me out the next night. I told him I was out of town till the next week. So he said how about when I got back. I said sure but I wasn't sure that was good idea. So I asked a good friend of mine what he thought. He said you never know he could be the one you should take a shot at it. So that was it I decided I'd go on a date. I'll tell you how that went at another time. (Disaster) But somehow I still ended up marrying guy and having two of his kids. Anyways I've set the stage for my blog. Though I'll have my projects and designs later on in the blog most will be my life. Hey it has to come out somewhere.